It’s the start of another school year, and that can be a big transition for everyone — whether it’s a little one going to school for the first time, or a teenager who dreads the ending of summer days.
Going back to school can be full of both happy and difficult feelings for everyone. But that doesn’t mean you have to yell or cajole to get your kids out the door every morning.
Check out our 10 parenting suggestions to create a gentle routine that actually works, encourage independence (without running late!), and have a Montessori-style routine to calm stress levels and get you out the door.
Wake up around the same time even on weekends.
I know, I know, this is a tough one! Especially if you have a teenager. Certainly tweak this to work best for your family. But most sleep hygiene tips support the benefit of having a consistent wakeup time, for both you and your child. If you have a young child, it’s on you to set the bedtime. If you have a teenager, incorporate them into the conversation around the bedtime that’s best for their body, to prioritize them getting the sleep they need.
Create a bedtime routine that supports good sleep.
Consistency is your friend here. A consistent routine is shown to support a child’s wellbeing and development across all ages.
Whether you want to bathe your child every night or prioritize a half hour of reading, set a routine that works for your family and stick to it as best you can. Depending on your child’s needs, your child may need a pre-bedtime snack, vestibular stimulation or a calming hand massage while reading.
Some of our favorite parts of bedtime routines involves a warm bath or shower as this helps relax your child’s body, snuggling and reading stories together (if they let you!), and recapping the events of the day, which helps your child feel safe and ready to fall asleep.
Teenagers will likely be creating their own routine and managing their own bedtime, so have conversations around what works best for our bodies and then try to model it yourself: for example, putting away your phone a half hour before bed for some quiet reading time.
Prepare your child mentally for the beginning of school.
If your child is anxious, acknowledging and affirming their feelings will help ease their fears and encourage a feeling of safety. If they’re worried about aspects of school (having a new teacher, not liking a new classroom), conversations about it will help prepare them.
You may also consider role-playing for younger children to help create a lighthearted environment to explore these concerns. Role-playing is a wonderful way for children to get their fears outside of themselves and see that they’re not so scary after all.
For teenagers, role-playing can look like discussing various potential scenarios and their own responses to each scenario.
Prepare the night before — and include your child.
What does your child need to get out the door in the morning? If they need a packed lunch, include them in getting one ready the night before. (This has the added benefit of increasing the likelihood of your child trying new foods and expanding their diet.) They definitely need to wear clothes, so let them choose from several (weather-appropriate) options and lay them out. Giving your child a choice from several options is a Montessori way to foster independence without overwhelming them. This will streamline your morning.
RELATED: How to Help an Overwhelmed Student with Stress
Ensure all homework is done beforehand.
Unless you have a unique child who loves early wakeups, your best chance at homework success is having it completed the night before. With young children, consider sitting at a table with them and doing your own work or reading a book to foster a cooperative working environment (and making you easily available for questions).
For your older child, support a working environment that has all the supplies they need (pencils, paper, a calculator, etc) and is comfortable. Help them make a plan, but step back and give them the independence to work rather than hovering over their shoulder.
Prepare your house for the beginning of school.
Organize your home so the items your child needs for school (jacket, shoes, lunchbox) live near the door, making it easy to find everything and get out the door. You can check out cubbies for a designated space per child, or utilize what you already have.
Make your departure time 10 minutes before you actually need to leave.
This can be a lifesaver on the morning when your child forgot to put out their favorite shoes, spills something on their shirt, or is just dragging their feet. A 10 minute buffer time can help eliminate the stress of running late and still get you to school on time.
If you really want this buffer time, but your children are not cooperating, maybe come up with a fun treat they can have in that 10 minute interim if you do get to school early: a pastry from your favorite coffee shop (and caffeine for you), a few minutes of their favorite show on the iPad when you get to school.
Before your kids arrive home from school or you pick them up, set your intentions for you.
It’s actually a good sign if your child gets in the car or home and has a meltdown, tantrum, or big emotional display — it means that they feel safe at home and are able to relax and let out all the stressors of the day. But it can still take a toll on your emotional well-being. Take a few moments before they come home to prepare yourself to welcome your child in whatever emotional state they may be in.
Set up an after-school routine.
An after-school routine can set the tone for the rest of your evening. Consider having them wash their hands, put away their jackets and unpack their lunchboxes and have a snack with protein and carbs to boost their energy till dinner.
Ask your child!
What new routine would they like to include this year?
Do they want to wake up early for a special hot beverage and reading time with you? (It could happen!)
Want to relax with a TV show during breakfast if they get ready in time?
Save morning chores till after school?
Giving your child ownership helps develop their cooperation with the back-to-school routine.
