Every parent knows the paradox of modern life. While we want our children to have healthy boundaries with screens, we struggle to put the phone down. From doom scrolling to checking our phones during conversations, it’s easy to model the very behavior we hope to curb. But digital wellness expert and Clarkston dad Mark Ostach says it doesn’t have to be perfect — it just has to be intentional.
“Your presence is the present they desire,” Ostach said.
The psychology of screen time
Ostach has spent years studying the impact of technology on our mental health and relationships. With degrees in psychology and neuroscience and early experience building software to track digital behavior, he now helps families and companies rethink their relationship with screens. His core belief? What you view online shapes how you feel— and who you become.
Building tech-conscious family habits
As a father of two children, ages 8 and 10 years old, Ostach practices what he preaches. “We’re not totally anti-screens in our family, but we try to be intentional. For every hour of screen time, we aim for double the time outside,” he explains.
One of the Ostach family’s most meaningful routines happens daily between 6 and 8 p.m. Phones go in a box, a candle is lit at the dinner table, and they focus on connecting—often guided by a set of dinner table conversation cards. Lighting the candle signifies the beginning of a sacred family time and blowing it out marks the end. This helps reinforce that the dinner table is a space for connection and intention. “It’s about showing your kids that this time together matters,” Ostach said. “We try to be as analog as possible.”
Even with these rituals, he acknowledges the struggle is real. “Sometimes my kids will say, ‘Dad, you’re on your phone again.’ And I’ll say, ‘You’re right.’ Then I put it away. It’s okay for your kids to call you out. That’s part of the learning.”
RELATED: Digital Wellness Program Helps Middle Schoolers with Mental and Physical Health
Common pitfalls to avoid
When it comes to common mistakes, Ostach points to multitasking. “The myth that you can order groceries on your phone while having a meaningful interaction with your child is just that — a myth. Stop the scroll and turn toward your child. They notice.”
Another mistake? Comparing yourself to other parents online. “There’s so much distraction trying to get you to compare yourself to the person next door. It’s damaging,” he said. “Sometimes it’s okay to just have a boring day.”
Tools and resources
For families just beginning to reassess their tech habits, Ostach recommends starting with Jonathan Haidt’s new book, “The Anxious Generation.” It dives deep into the connection between childhood mental health and screen use. And, Ostach wrote “Courage to Connect,” a book filled with personal stories and practical guidance for anyone hoping to strengthen their relationships — both online and off.
He also suggests wholesome streaming alternatives like PureFlix and Bent Key. To encourage outdoor time, challenges like the Michigan-based 1,000 Hours Outside project might do the trick.
Having the hard conversations
Ostach urges parents not to shy away from tough conversations about what their kids may encounter online — especially surrounding identity and intimacy. “Ask them, ‘What did you see online today?’ instead of just ‘How was your day?’ We have to lead them, guide them, steward them. If you’re not rooting for them — who is?”
A shift toward connection
In a world where screens are ever-present, modeling a healthy relationship with technology doesn’t mean getting it right all the time. But with intention, openness, and a few well-placed boundaries, parents can shift the dynamic — both online and off.
Reflecting on how empty neighborhoods have become and how screens have overtaken outdoor play, Ostach remains hopeful: “We’re only young once…I believe there’s a shift coming.” He’s referring to what he sees as an emerging cultural movement that encourages families to step away from screens and re-embrace outdoor play. Enjoy some face-to-face connection and a slower, more grounded way of living instead.
